Welp, that is ten kinds of creepy. But I can tell you were going for that, so good work!
(And now for the remembered dialogue that popped in my head when I first looked at this:
Mrs. Oliver: "What's the trouble? Are you alright?"
Elaine: "Uh... Yeah! Yes."
Mrs. Oliver: "It's my goiter, isn't it? Does it bother you?"
Elaine: "Bother me? Oh, phhbt... Why would a little goiter like that bother me?"
(Cut to Elaine, Jerry, and George talking later...)
Elaine: "This woman *almost* has a second head!!!") XD