It's the only thing guaranteed to set off my anger, and subsequently the not-so-better half of my personality.
as for how bad it would get.....well, imagine a person ten times as sadistic and cruel than the writers of all the imfamous grimdarks out there and give that person the means to carry it out as well as a disconnection from the world.
There literally is a side of me like that. And I am scared of it.....but I also enjoy the feeling the thoughts it gives me.