Ohhhhh... wow. You are amazing. Your penchant for descriptive writing just blows me away. I need to keep reading your work because it makes me want to be a better writer.
If I may offer a small point: While I agree with your statement that a brief second is "really all we ever get, if we're lucky," it's a commentary and snaps me out of the reverie I'm in from your description of the moment. I think you made us feel the importance of the moment already without telling us outright.
If I may offer a small point: While I agree with your statement that a brief second is "really all we ever get, if we're lucky," it's a commentary and snaps me out of the reverie I'm in from your description of the moment. I think you made us feel the importance of the moment already without telling us outright.
Oh, jeez, thank you so much! 
Yeah, you're completely right. This was back when I thought literature = moralizing.
I'll probably rework that entire last paragraph... -grabs edit pen-
Yeah, you're completely right. This was back when I thought literature = moralizing.
I'll probably rework that entire last paragraph... -grabs edit pen-Well, writing can be moralizing, but if you write in a way that leads people to the conclusion as opposed to giving it to them... it sinks in better...
I try not to moralize, because I don't think my ideals are necessarily any better than anyone else's...
I try not to moralize, because I don't think my ideals are necessarily any better than anyone else's...
I try not to either, nowadays. It can be painfully off-putting if it isn't done perfectly--and anyway, who am I to be passing judgment on the universe?
Spruced it up a bit, by the way, and I think it's an improvement.
Spruced it up a bit, by the way, and I think it's an improvement.
Love the ending now... well done (in my humble opinion).
Yay! Thanks 