Comment on As I inaudibly crumble by Sammur-amat
This is actually very cool. I love the imagery you worked in to this. And the contrast is great. However, I'm not really sure if the second verse has the same emotion all over it. For a bit it is really exposed, fragile, and for a bit it is a bit aggressive ('screw the talk of trinkets...', 'I hate vanity'). I think that's about the only critique I could give, and I'm not even sure if it's even important. Just my 2 cents. I usually don't do poetry (or prosetry ^^), but this really grabbed me. 
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On behalf of
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.On behalf of
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First off, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my work, it means so much to me! 
I'm glad you enjoyed the read enough to find it cool! Yeah well, I didn't really mean for them to be exactly opposite of one another but rather just quite close to that. I'm so happy to hear that!
Thank you once again, good sir!
I'm glad you enjoyed the read enough to find it cool! Yeah well, I didn't really mean for them to be exactly opposite of one another but rather just quite close to that. I'm so happy to hear that!
Thank you once again, good sir!
My pleasure really. Btw, after a reread I found the line 'So strong, that no amount of tidal waves...' a bit confusing, due to the word 'amount'. Isn't it more common to use 'amount' in this way: 'that any amount of tidal waves couldn't break my walls'... I hope you get what I mean.
Hmm, as far as my knowledge of it, I believe it possible to use "no amount" but I do agree that it could sound awkward.
I'll totally think about how to edit this, thanks again!
I'll totally think about how to edit this, thanks again!