Comment on The Truth of Justice by ~pamelaski[parent]

Wow, very powerful imagery.

You make it sound like an unholy crypt where people swear away their souls

--
Redemption,
I seek it.
Retribution,
I am it.

I like this. I believe this could be translated to the simple words of jay, "fuck the police" but asside from profanity. I like the simplicity of this. I havent looked at your poetry in forever. but i will.

--
sleep well sweet darling, and wake to fight another day. A losing battle with eternity. Another sin filled day of longing for perfection, waiting for death's loving kiss.

my that was rather melodramatic, why not stop the world and let me spin?

Thanks hon, and yes....well said!!

--
"You might, rabbit, you might."

~info-desk *poetic-forms

The lighter, visual side of pamelaski *druideye

Hmm... isn't that what it is?

--
"You might, rabbit, you might."

~info-desk *poetic-forms

The lighter, visual side of pamelaski *druideye

While the piece is indeed visually provocative, the weight of the poem tends toward the end. The repetition of "that" in the first two stanzas * steals* the poem's momentum. But again, the last stanza rights all wrongs. ( What our courts a supposed to do?!)

"Woe to those who walk through
the marble halls and
swear unholy truths...."

Makes me tremble. Here the voice of the poem almost takes on the tone of an angry god.

I am inclined, in my own thoughts, to continue with that wonderful image and say:

"Fear become of those whom
speak on high from profane alters,
their knife has drawn its fill"

--
Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam.

- 'Tis better to suffer an injustice than do an injustice.

Nice! It felt unfinished but I couldn't figure out what more to add. I was angry...I'm sure you could tell.

--
"You might, rabbit, you might."

~info-desk *poetic-forms

The lighter, visual side of pamelaski *druideye

May I add that to the poem?

--
"You might, rabbit, you might."

~info-desk *poetic-forms

The lighter, visual side of pamelaski *druideye