Comment on despondent by ocean-whispers
It's supposed to be how the woman isn't willing to do anything other than the everyday struggles she already goes through.
It's supposed to be her husband but, I'm not sure how to write in a husband's voice without making that part sound whiny or out of place.
I'm actually considering taking that part out.
It's supposed to be her husband but, I'm not sure how to write in a husband's voice without making that part sound whiny or out of place.
I'm actually considering taking that part out.
i agree that on its initial reading the first stanza may seem slightly erroneous, however after having read it once, i feel its meaning and depth multiplies exponentially. but i think the most amazing part of the poem is that it is equally as heartfelt, depressing, and life-affirming when read from the male perspective as well.
Thank you very much. That's actually really nice to hear -- men definitely can struggle from the same troubles as the woman in this poem, they're often not written about though.
Maybe I'll do that in the future!
Maybe I'll do that in the future!
I assumed it was her husband asking if she was sleepy. If you leave it in, maybe you can try just some images to set the scene a little more solidly. Describe what the character sees and how it feels.
Thank you. 
You're welcome.