Honestly, this feels like something I've needed to say for a long time. The parallels between my dad and my ex are strong, and they upset me like you wouldn't fucking believe.
I had no idea man. I mean, you told me a bunch about the Charlie thing...but I didn't know about the father thing until a bit more recently (you didn't say much about it when we hung out at your house that last time when we were talking about my dad and your dad...but you said some stuff...)
But now these connect and now I sorta get it...(to an extent...I'll never fully get it...only you will...)
But now these connect and now I sorta get it...(to an extent...I'll never fully get it...only you will...)
I don't talk about my dad much because I wasn't even really aware that he kind of neglected me (and fuck, I'm stressing the "kind of" here, because honestly, it's not the sort of thing that'll fuck me up for me life, and we're spending time together regularly now.) But a lot of the ways Charlie treated me corresponded with the way my dad treated me, and that just. Bothers me.
And nobody will truly understand it except me, really, since nobody's inside my head. And thank God for that because it's a fucking ugly and horrible place and I'd do anything to move out for a week or two.
And nobody will truly understand it except me, really, since nobody's inside my head. And thank God for that because it's a fucking ugly and horrible place and I'd do anything to move out for a week or two.
Oh...I see...I had no idea...
And yeah. I understand not wanting to be in your own mind for a nice long vacation. Frankly, my mind is a fucked up nightmare of all things bad.
And yeah. I understand not wanting to be in your own mind for a nice long vacation. Frankly, my mind is a fucked up nightmare of all things bad.
Writing helps clear it out sometimes, but then I have days where if I try to write even a single word I hate the sight of it, I hate everything about every word I've ever written. It just sucks, the inconsistency of it all.
Yeah...I feel that way...all the time. xD (I'm a failure at writing decent things...)