i like the bit you hate..

it is v. good..

i like.

--
mr. h

x

Thanks!

i like it. may be try "and" instead of "but" it may sound better.

--
R.Smith

Visit my website:
[link]

I was thinking as I read this that this seemed like a song, very excellent.

--
"The goblins have forty-two different words for 'ow'" - Detonate

Thanks

Ok, I don't know if it's exactly ironic, but I think it is quite strange that the part you don't like and specifically picked out to work on was my favorite part of the poem O_o It really was. I was going to copy and paste it to show you and everything As soon as a read that bit...it gave me a visual as well as an emotional perspective, because it set me up for hope when "they recognize" but shot me down when "they pass by". I love it, I don't think you should change it =3

--
~[Sanji-obsessed Mika]~

"...Ha! Did you forget already? In my world, the color red doesn't exist. These must be...my tears." Godot

"God made food. The Devil made spices." Sanji

"Things like dying and getting killed aren't unnatural." Kiba

Thank you, I really appreciate it.