I cannot understand why it was hard to write - because I cannot at all comprehend your state of mind. Saying I understand would be a lie. Well It has been a long time I have seen you but it is sad that the first work I read is this. However I hope that the term remains "was". I would (hug you) if I could, but if I couldn't (hug you) I will still try . Ah... don't tell me - I know it was a bad spin at playing words