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~RadAdam
Dec 19, 2006, 3:38:54 PM
Dec 19, 2006, 3:38:54 PM
FUCK YES!
So ridiculously rockstar bro, although I do hope you weren't inferring something about me sucka!
Seriously though this is my favorite thing you've ever written. I might have to go through some old poetry to make sure, but I almost certain.
You set it up so beautifully. I was completely immersed in the beautiful imagery you presented throughout the entire piece. This could have stood alone as an great short of a wedding day in your head. Instead you took it to a completely new level and blindsided me with that ending.
"My best-men were next to me; these culprits."
This line is so loaded, which is why I like it so much. Culprits in the drinks and pranks of bachelor life, but it ends up being a completely different adjective. Wonderful set-up.
"She was crying again. I was not."
This was a great example of how much I think your perfection of punctuation helps this piece. I enjoyed the variable use of longer/shorter sentences and everything in between with punctuation. Rarely these days can I find someone with craft in this area. Also, I like how defining this line is for the character.
Finally, the last line was great. Everything in this piece ties together. It seems no words or thoughts involved are left untouched, or with no other meaning that to 'make it pretty.'
P.S. I approve of the rhyme.
So ridiculously rockstar bro, although I do hope you weren't inferring something about me sucka!
Seriously though this is my favorite thing you've ever written. I might have to go through some old poetry to make sure, but I almost certain.
You set it up so beautifully. I was completely immersed in the beautiful imagery you presented throughout the entire piece. This could have stood alone as an great short of a wedding day in your head. Instead you took it to a completely new level and blindsided me with that ending.
"My best-men were next to me; these culprits."
This line is so loaded, which is why I like it so much. Culprits in the drinks and pranks of bachelor life, but it ends up being a completely different adjective. Wonderful set-up.
"She was crying again. I was not."
This was a great example of how much I think your perfection of punctuation helps this piece. I enjoyed the variable use of longer/shorter sentences and everything in between with punctuation. Rarely these days can I find someone with craft in this area. Also, I like how defining this line is for the character.
Finally, the last line was great. Everything in this piece ties together. It seems no words or thoughts involved are left untouched, or with no other meaning that to 'make it pretty.'
P.S. I approve of the rhyme.
Community News62 Legs up! - It's PINUP time=rav777
 reports, 15h 28s agoThis is a collection of deviations showing real Pinups in the classic Retro poses from various Artists. You'll find a variation of Vintage Pinup Queens as well as fresh modern Pinup art. If you love Polkadots, seamed Nylons, Plateau-Heels and and miles-long-Legs you should not miss this collection. 47 Wonderful unknowns.~Scarf-girl
 reports, 1d 12h ago(A little list of awesome artists under 4000 page views.) 36 Fetish photographer interviews: MykalBinds^opioid
 reports, 1d 23h agoFetish photographer interview series |
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Devious Comments
So ridiculously rockstar bro, although I do hope you weren't inferring something about me sucka!
Seriously though this is my favorite thing you've ever written. I might have to go through some old poetry to make sure, but I almost certain.
You set it up so beautifully. I was completely immersed in the beautiful imagery you presented throughout the entire piece. This could have stood alone as an great short of a wedding day in your head. Instead you took it to a completely new level and blindsided me with that ending.
"My best-men were next to me; these culprits."
This line is so loaded, which is why I like it so much. Culprits in the drinks and pranks of bachelor life, but it ends up being a completely different adjective. Wonderful set-up.
"She was crying again. I was not."
This was a great example of how much I think your perfection of punctuation helps this piece. I enjoyed the variable use of longer/shorter sentences and everything in between with punctuation. Rarely these days can I find someone with craft in this area. Also, I like how defining this line is for the character.
Finally, the last line was great. Everything in this piece ties together. It seems no words or thoughts involved are left untouched, or with no other meaning that to 'make it pretty.'
P.S. I approve of the rhyme.
Thane
[link]
--
Plugs:
~Niiicko ~RadAdam ~okashina ~JohnnyLongStreet *directorman ~ArtBennyRGrau ~Impbeast ~Bolt-Of-Mjolnir
damn dude
what a twist ending
just great.
But you tire from my complements
so I will cease lol
--
literature is art too: Genkidesu, Daijobuu... ne?...nya
~TheShun~JaqDHawkins
MARIA Totus tuum ego. clubs I im in ~utada-club~ifchinscouldkill
Thane
[link]
--
Plugs:
~Niiicko ~RadAdam ~okashina ~JohnnyLongStreet *directorman ~ArtBennyRGrau ~Impbeast ~Bolt-Of-Mjolnir
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