Awe I am SO SO sorry to hear you faced a very hard time in your life, but am more than happy you made it through. You DESERVE to live, and you deserve the best. I know at times you feel lost and alone, and like no one can give you a life raft to get you to shore. But, I assure you, there are people that will. I will. Various deviants will. Groups on the internet will. Therapists will. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS, and you will come out stronger than anyone you know. Please note me if you need someone to talk to, as I would be more than happy to help. Please stay positive, you are such a kind-hearted individual. We need more people like you on this world, and we can't loose even one more. Stay awesome, really. Do that for me, okay? 
Hugging you times one thousand.
Hugging you times one thousand.