Comment on When We Die Holding Hands by joey-jordison666
I think this piece had the potential to be astounding. It's obvious you have talent; however, I think you let your passion get a hold of you on this one, and it went a little over the top.
The subtleties fell out about half way through the whole of it, and we were left without the creative word usage you began it with. I've read this piece 4 times now, and I think with a little editing, you might have a really stellar work here.
Good job!
The subtleties fell out about half way through the whole of it, and we were left without the creative word usage you began it with. I've read this piece 4 times now, and I think with a little editing, you might have a really stellar work here.
Good job!