Sorry for the long post, there was a death in the family.
You are not destined for hell, you did not turn your back on God. Humans take such a literal approach to his word. What is god? God is many things, love, happiness, kindness, togetherness and hope.
In my religion it is said that “Throw him is the path of heaven.” People think that through him is “Jesus Christ” but what is in a name? Jesus was just a man, the great message as even he put it was great then himself. If you are love, happiness, kindness, togetherness, you are walking the path to heaven, whatever you heaven might be.
For you it is on this world. You live your hell and heaven on earth. Buddhists teaching from what I can remember from my teachings. Your future existence is conditioned by the last thought-moment of your experiences at the point of death. This last thought which determines the next existence results from the past actions of a man either in this life or before that. Is that heaven or hell, that is a matter of perspective. I feel you are a good person in life and in heart. You are destined for heaven in my book.