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hm. First of all, I like it in general 
There are however some points that are a bit confusing ( to me at least) and assume a bit of knowledge from the reader that isnt there.
I don´t quite get what exactly she does; just industry espionage in the aerospace business? Also, I think it is sometimes a bit too fast, I think there´d be a bit ore room for either character, scenery or storyline development.
But i definitely like it and it reminds me a bit of Heinleins Friday.
There are however some points that are a bit confusing ( to me at least) and assume a bit of knowledge from the reader that isnt there.I don´t quite get what exactly she does; just industry espionage in the aerospace business? Also, I think it is sometimes a bit too fast, I think there´d be a bit ore room for either character, scenery or storyline development.
But i definitely like it and it reminds me a bit of Heinleins Friday.
It was definitely well written. Very good story overall, except a few points of what kind of spy she really is. But all in all, definitely great. Keep up the good work.
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My Feathered Wings Flap, and my warhammer strikes with great vengence. Justice will be upheld.
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My Feathered Wings Flap, and my warhammer strikes with great vengence. Justice will be upheld.
Ooh, v good, and thanks for introducing me to Cory Doctorow just now, I'm reading old posts in Craphound right now.
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"A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to."
-Banksy
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"A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to."
-Banksy
Glad you liked, and thanks for the critique!
Yeah, in retrospect I think I did leave things a bit too vague in terms of what she does, or assumed too much knowledge on the part of the readers. I'll see what I can do about that.
And a comparison to anything by Heinlein is flattering indeed
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"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
Yeah, in retrospect I think I did leave things a bit too vague in terms of what she does, or assumed too much knowledge on the part of the readers. I'll see what I can do about that.
And a comparison to anything by Heinlein is flattering indeed
--
"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
Thanks!
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"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
--
"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
Cory Doctorow is completely awesome, not least because all his stuff is under Creative Commons.
Also, I don't think I noticed the Banksy quote in your signature line before, which is awesome too.
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"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
Also, I don't think I noticed the Banksy quote in your signature line before, which is awesome too.
--
"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
well, you deserve it things like these are tricky to write. I am struggling with my assassin/spy story. so hats off to you!
things like these are tricky to write. I am struggling with my assassin/spy story. so hats off to you!I enjoyed reading that. The details seemed very authentic - I can quite imagine spying is increasingly going this way.
Thanks!
And don't look now, but from what I hear spying is already getting closer to this than you'd think.
--
"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
And don't look now, but from what I hear spying is already getting closer to this than you'd think.
--
"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte
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"That's how it starts. Murder doesn't seem like a big deal, but then you end up lying, voting in elections... even selling your own books."
--Corso, in The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte