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All Deviations
`nemish:iconnemish: Sep 26, 2002, 8:38:14 PM
My favourite part of this poem was the form, it seems to trickle from a waterfall.

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Devious Comments

$fangedfem:iconfangedfem: Sep 26, 2002, 12:41:26 PM
uh umm......**breath breath** =) (Smile)

This is marvelous! Love how it builds.....the excitment~ gawd! -I am so bad at commenting on poetry! Suffice to say that I REALLY enjoyed this =D (Big Grin)

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Lisa Sweet
Prints Customer Service
~shop | FAQ | HELP
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♥ for the animals ♥ [link]
~hedda:iconhedda: Sep 26, 2002, 12:52:30 PM
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

good luck in the contest!
(did you mean for the line to say "silent fury to my limbs"?....just wanted to point that out)

I have always enjoyed the way you use line spacing in your poems to accentuate them, and build to a climactic point ;) (Wink)
`tmpst24myst:icontmpst24myst: Sep 26, 2002, 1:21:40 PM
*breathing....*

yes, good luck in the contest...

damn you for doing this to me and damn you for writing it so well.
Black Rose

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June 22
°euphoria:iconeuphoria: Sep 26, 2002, 1:38:21 PM
um....heh. Wow. That made me really, really horny. Good job. lol

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Kit Lange
Former $Core Staff
[link]
Right-wing conservatives are hot.
`cooper:iconcooper: Sep 26, 2002, 3:54:19 PM
yes nicely written, glad that ur writing got a comment from euphoria, I haven't seem to get her to comment on mine... but maybe thats cause I suck really bad, and my next poem is the last i will probably post on da... so anyways im venting.... nicely written good luck in the contest.. :O (Eek) take care
`rebelchic:iconrebelchic: Sep 26, 2002, 5:49:22 PM
*sigh*

You're good.

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:shakefist:
`nemish:iconnemish: Sep 26, 2002, 8:38:14 PM
My favourite part of this poem was the form, it seems to trickle from a waterfall.

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...end of line
~amusedtangerine:iconamusedtangerine: Sep 26, 2002, 9:29:32 PM
oh...my...god. +favlove this is the best erotic poem i think i've read...well, ever, i suppose. and it conveys so much emotion (like all of your poems, in fact).

good luck in the contest!!!

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Where there's moonlight I see your eyes
~paladin2001:iconpaladin2001: Sep 26, 2002, 10:33:30 PM
whew... allrriigght

well, you finally got a comment from me, its been awhile, but our talking about it earlier made me realize how much I missed DA. I must say, this is pretty sweet, and I love how you say so much without using a lot of words. I maintain that the trick to erotica is subtlty and strong emotion, and you have both here. And I don't think its really TMI (maybe if you were writing about something that had actually happend I'd be a little more weirded out). I can really sense the building passion... beautiful.

-Paladin