Comment on Wingfall Chapt. 1 by ~SodapopBlues[parent]

Very interesting setup for a story; it makes me curious what Lissey will do about these things.

Nitpicks:

I think there's a logic mistake in the first paragraph. Mrs Ramone went shopping for the last three years, so she cannot have taken now two year old Maddie with her every time, or if Maddie was 2 3 years ago, she isn't anymore, presumably.

"Snapping her head forward, and instinctively slamming down on her breaks..." - That should be "brakes"

"None of what Death--if that was whom she was truly speaking to--was registering with her." - Missing a "said" or something like that.

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if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Whoooaaaa! Haha thanks! :-D

Oops! I'll go fix those right away. Thanks!