very intimate... in the lines that go like when we almost do, but never, really touch. shouldn't the second comma be after 'really'? well on the other hand... maybe i just got things wrong there anyways, i delighted in reading this one!
-- the artist is the creator of beautiful things. Oscar Wilde.
Those commas are definitely wonky, for sure. It probably isn't right theoretically but I did it that way to emphasize the intended flow as you read it. I probably did it wrong, though. haha
Thanks for picking up on it and thank you for reading, as always.
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`karemelancholia is one of the most genuine deviants you could ever met. Always active and a true deviantART cheerleader and supporter in every aspect. You can always count on her to lend a hand or get involved, and you usually will find her doing large amounts of both at any given moment. She's consistently reports on contests around dA, showcases the efforts of her fellow artists and shows her charitable side through various activities. Besides all of this, she's a truly talented artist which is why she's an obvious choice for deviousness this month. Read More
Devious Comments
--
"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes"
in the lines that go like
when we almost do, but never,
really touch.
shouldn't the second comma be after 'really'?
well on the other hand... maybe i just got things wrong there
anyways, i delighted in reading this one!
--
the artist is the creator of beautiful things.
Oscar Wilde.
--
i ask of life,
not to be part of something, but to be part for something.
--
"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes"
Thanks for picking up on it and thank you for reading, as always.
I like you Rob!
the follicles of your hair, running my nose
along the crook of your neck that swells so much
That part is fucking great. Very well done. I love the way you structured it, the way the words flow is orginal and unique
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