hmm... this is my personal opinion, so please don't take offence!
I personally don't like this, as a whole. I love the end stanza, I think it's very well written and the rhyme scheme compliments this. However, I think that in the previous parts the rhyme scheme seems to limit this a bit...
But yeah, just a couple of thoughts from my mind, hope you don't take offence, it's not meant in a bad way, just some points you might find helpful in the future...
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Spark Bright Free Webzine, open for submissions now [link]
its ok, one doesnt have to like everything. what do you mean by the rhyme limits it? should the structure be altered to make it flow better? je ne comprends pas tout... x
A brand new monthly article which showcases some of deviantART's finest equine artists, as well as recognizing the lesser-known but equally talented ones. Interviews, helpful tutorials and features can all be found here too! I hope you enjoy it.
Daily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it.
Each day we will feature 10 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.
Daily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 10 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.
When it comes to community spirit, `Rushy is a shining example. From participating in devmeets, to providing positive encouragement to other artists, `Rushy can always be found demonstrating what it really takes to be a true deviant. It's without any hesitation that we are delighted to award the Deviousness Award for July 2009 to `RushyRead More