Comment on My Brother Just Walked In On Me Masturbating. by Mingchao

Jan 5, 2009

Holy fuck, little brother, LEARN TO KNOCK! And before you bug me for not locking my door, my lock doesn't work.

I think I scarred my little brother for life. He burst open the door and caught me with my boobs showing, my panties around my ankles, and a makeshift dildo in between my legs. He came in smiling and then went "OMFG" and slammed the door shut.

How am I going to LIE about this? D: I'm so embarrassed; he's definitely going to tell somebody he caught his dear sister masturbating. Even though he probably doesn't even know what I was doing...but still.

In before "Let him join in."

TerraRhapsody

Jan 5, 2009

Deeply inappropriate discussion
FAQ #506: Does deviantART allow sexual discussions in chatrooms or the forums?

RockLou

Jan 5, 2009

Damn! Damn!

You're 13 and already have a dildo?

MadAsHellyo

Jan 5, 2009

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Sounds like you need a man in your life

Transformergirl

Jan 5, 2009

My 11th grade history teacher once caught a student masterbating in one of her classese, he was standing in a corner.

LeftyLike

Jan 5, 2009

...at least he'll knock from now on..

dJirrev

Jan 5, 2009

Walk in on him choking the chicken next time and then you're even and neither of you will mention it ever again

Ogal

Jan 5, 2009

How old is he? If your lucky maybe he's secretly a porn director and now wants to hire you.

M-tel

Jan 5, 2009

In before "Let him join in."

...in my vagina.

Oh god......

Pics or it didn't happen.

On a more serious note, thanks for the mental image. I don't think I'm gonna be able to shift it, even if I wanted to.

aliska

Jan 5, 2009

I think you should camp out behind his bedroom door and wait for him to spank his monkey (and he will, eventually - he's a boy), then jump out and yell HA! Haha-ha-HA!.

It'll be like double blackmail.

mixdown

Jan 5, 2009

Late nights, locked doors.

There's a song in there somewhere...

Nanaki7

Jan 5, 2009

this is why I do it when no one is going to barge in, and 13? they start early

KyleMistry

Jan 5, 2009

Need to be more stealthy, yo.

Masturbation Gear Solid: Vaginal Espionage Action.

Featuring Solid Snake, of course. And Naked Snake, who later becomes Big Boss. I don't even need to try to turn those into innuendo.

Shadow-whisper

Jan 5, 2009

Ahahahah! Oh lordy, I can't stop laughing. It's probably not that bad though; he's probably more embarrassed than anything. How young is he? I was in the same situation, except I walked in on my brother (I was only about 11), and it just kinda blew over. But yeah, use the covers and lights off.

And yanno, at least you do it in the privacy of your own room. My little sister does it all damn day (and at least three times a day), in the living room, with my mother, my brother and myself all sitting two feet away from her watching TV.

Best part is we've confronted her about it, and she denies it, and still does it.

The fuck? D:

O.o you shud lock the door or sumthing next time...

Tome89

Jan 5, 2009

And the problem is?

Just tell him what's what. No problem.

Denierim

Jan 5, 2009

I can picture that moment in my head and it gave me some great laughs this time in the morning.

Sorry, but you should honestly think about doing it under the covers or in the locked bathroom. Otherwise you're just begging for something like that to happen.

QueenOfRaisins

Jan 5, 2009

I bet he was disappointed.

DistilledVinegar

Jan 5, 2009

Well, I imagine he'll start knocking!

Say you were changing your clothes all at once and sat on a can of hairspray?

Upsilon400

Jan 5, 2009

Okay, I gotta get these out of the way, as Teh Internetz tells me they're mandatory:

[link]

Okay, there.

Now. Maybe you should try investing in a better lock. OR. Do you share the bedroom with your brother?

~Y

DarklordIIID

Jan 5, 2009

...in my vagina.

Holy win signature batman.

It's epic!

Tell him it's for science.

archaii

Jan 5, 2009

I hate the word panties >.>
Also, maybe he just will never mention it ever, ever again.
How young is younger ? D:

Shidaku

Jan 5, 2009

*shrug* come back when you've walked in on your folks shagging.

raspil

Jan 5, 2009

How am I going to LIE about this?

aren't you lying right now? are you really telling us that your first impulse after you zipped up was to post this BS at deviantART? really?

AJGlass

Jan 5, 2009

are you really telling us that your first impulse after you zipped up was to post this BS at deviantART?

No, her first impulse was self-preservation, as it would be for anyone caught in such a situation by a younger sibling.

okay, hair-splitter.

So it's splitting hairs to actually understand the complaint now?

raspil

Jan 5, 2009

jesus motherfucking titties.

So, how fast did your pageviews jump up?

Okay, this thread... this thread is full of the secrets of Complaints' fapping techniques (no jutsu). This is a valuable thread.

It also has over 150 replies in less than two hours. That has to be some kind of record.

Wanko no jutsu?

You say you used a can of hairspray for a makeshift dildo...

Considering this, was it one of those thick 3 inch in diameter ones or a skinnier version?

As a tip for the next time you masturbate, do it in your bed under the covers with all the lights off so when someone comes in the room you can move around and look normal before they can turn the light on to see you.

Winged-Ego

Jan 5, 2009

Yikes. (Also, a little TMI.)

Plan on breaking it to him?

katyferret

Jan 5, 2009

Everyone got here before me and took all the jokes I was going to make.

Anyway, my real response: with that description, if your brother tells, you could just say he didn't see quite right and you were simply changing clothes.
Like all of them at once.
And you needed the hairspray.

kdotmdot

Jan 5, 2009

"Let him join in."

...in my vagina.

wait, you're 13!

liquidskyfire

Jan 5, 2009

already beat you to it

--> [link]

....

.....

Okay, I can't stop laughing now

Seriously, couldn't you at least try doing it under the blankets? Consider yourself lucky it wasn't your dad

Mingchao

Jan 5, 2009

Oh, God. That's even worse.

Otacon144

Jan 5, 2009

It's his own damn fault he didn't knock.

Mixedpie

Jan 5, 2009

Grow up five years, then do it in front of a webcam instead.

Stop talking about your past experiences

Best. Response. Yet.

Plus, she can charge $2.99 a minute and pay her way through college!

PROFIT!

Does anyone else feel like they're going to jail just for reading this?

Hi I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator". Why don't you have a seat right there?"

RocketSpy

Jan 5, 2009

I'm not at liiberty to saay.

OOH! Me! *flails*

door and caught me with my boobs showing

For some reason, I read that as "with my boobs swinging" and couldn't stop laughing for like 5 mins.

Get a door hanger that says "do not disturb".

Sokar12

Jan 5, 2009

You should be ashamed at your non-existant covert masturbation skills.

AJGlass

Jan 5, 2009

Says the guy who's waiving the candy cane seductively.

Sokar12

Jan 5, 2009

That's no candy cane.

BigxBadxWorld

Jan 5, 2009

You're fourteen and you're masturbating?

...most do.

The average age for girls to start masturbating is 12, actually

but I know many who have started younger.

Apparently I am way behind the times.

FrostyLeet

Jan 5, 2009

BigxBadxWorld

Jan 5, 2009

I must strive to be more informed in the future.

good man

that's actually normal

gaviD

Jan 5, 2009

inorite, what world does this person exist in?

BigxBadxWorld

Jan 5, 2009

Experimenting with you and only you is normal.
But using a makeshift dildo is rather creepy.

RaineSlave

Jan 5, 2009

"makeshift: dildo could mean a number of things. As long as it isn't mom hairbrush or ...something like that then...that's normal too. Sometimes fingers aren't enough

BigxBadxWorld

Jan 5, 2009

Eh. We all have our opinions.

Comment Flagged as Spam

Mingchao

Jan 5, 2009

Bottle of hairspray.

Empty.

Might not be the best choice, but I had NOTHING else.

...In your vagina.

Dude! How ginormous is your va-jay-jay?!

AJGlass

Jan 5, 2009

That bottle of hair spray wouldn't be one of those compressed air ones, would it?

They're never truly empty, you know.

God forbid you knocked the aerosol cap off in your excitement and that thing exploded or turned into a rocket.

RocketSpy

Jan 5, 2009

THAT would be AWESOME!

KyleMistry

Jan 5, 2009

Now I'm picturing someone zooming around the room like a rocket with a hairspray can propulsion system, a la deflating balloon.

AJGlass

Jan 5, 2009

The reality of it going off in such a fashion would probably be far more entertaining.

Though admittedly, it would only be a one-time performance for obvious reasons.

KyleMistry

Jan 5, 2009

Hell, if it'd be a one-time thing, do it Tron light cycle racing style. Bending over like that, it'd be the perfect position for aerosol-zooming anyways.

_{Psshhhhyyoooooooo~}

AJGlass

Jan 5, 2009

You do know that someone somewhere has probably already tried it.

No doubt they've also videotaped it as well.

View all replies

scythepuppet

Jan 5, 2009

Here's an idea, how about usin' your keyboard typers?

FrostyLeet

Jan 5, 2009

................

D:

and that's comfortable for you!?!?!?