Comment on How do you talk to people? by goldendragonqueen32
Hi there. I've got a problem. I've got pretty bad social anxiety, and I unfortunately need to talk to strangers for some of my classes. Namely, asking people to model for photographs, as I am a photography student.
Any tips or advice or anything?
Any tips or advice or anything?
I'd suggest you treat this as business. If you're a gamer, treat this as your current quest line. Tell people up front first thing you have this assignment, and if they'll be willing to help you complete it. Some people are busy, but some would certainly like to be helpful, especially to a student.
I used to be terrible at talking to people (not saying I'm amazing now 
) but my Uncle needed help with a project of his that required talking to people, and I was very intimidated. Buut, after just steeling my mind and talking to one person, everything else was pretty easy, there were literally thousands of people (like a Fair, so not at one time) and I talked to a lot of them about the same thing over the course of probably 8-12 hours. It was amazing, in that one day I had improved more in that regard than years elsewhere. I'm not saying you have an event you can do this, but I can promise you after talking to that first person, everything else will be much easier, just make up your mind that you have to do this, what's the worst they'll do? Tell you no probably, that's a occupational hazard, do your best!
Also, people loove compliments, it's a big compliment to want to capture someone on film/"digital film" so tell them why, say they have gorgeous eyes or something, let them know what it is about them that makes them worthy to be captured instead of someone else
Hope it it helps!
) but my Uncle needed help with a project of his that required talking to people, and I was very intimidated. Buut, after just steeling my mind and talking to one person, everything else was pretty easy, there were literally thousands of people (like a Fair, so not at one time) and I talked to a lot of them about the same thing over the course of probably 8-12 hours. It was amazing, in that one day I had improved more in that regard than years elsewhere. I'm not saying you have an event you can do this, but I can promise you after talking to that first person, everything else will be much easier, just make up your mind that you have to do this, what's the worst they'll do? Tell you no probably, that's a occupational hazard, do your best!Also, people loove compliments, it's a big compliment to want to capture someone on film/"digital film" so tell them why, say they have gorgeous eyes or something, let them know what it is about them that makes them worthy to be captured instead of someone else
Hope it it helps!
You could lie and take photos of people you know of at home 
dress up as someone you aren't when you are going around doing your asking and stuff. being in 'costume' may help you to be more bold, kind of a trick i discovered one halloween. because you are pretending to be someone else, you aren't as afraid of being judged. examples may be: dressing like a goth, wearing glasses that are really cooky with a matching skirt, dressing up like someone from the 50's.
basically go nuts enough to the point at which you are having fun just by being dressed that way. that is likely to take the edge off your anxiety.
Here is my idea, straight from Mary Poppins:
Turn the confrontation-time into a game.
methods of doing so:
-listen to james bond music on headphones while doing this and pretend that getting models is a "secret mission".
-write a small speech to tell people before hand with some element of silliness in it, and become an expert at saying this speech. then make your spiel like an act, as though you were an actor speaking lines in a play. become an expert at these lines.
-have some small and silly gift to give people as a 'thank you' for being a model for you. for example, you could give them star stickers or buttons which say "I'm a model" on them. or something of the like. ("hey, do you want this button? all you have to do is pose for a few pictures for me! it's for a good cause!")
-guess people's ages before you ask them. write your guess in a notebook. then ask them to do the posing for you and when all is done, ask them what their actual age is ("one more thing: how old are you?"). keep record of your accuracy score.
basically go nuts enough to the point at which you are having fun just by being dressed that way. that is likely to take the edge off your anxiety.
Here is my idea, straight from Mary Poppins:
Turn the confrontation-time into a game.
methods of doing so:
-listen to james bond music on headphones while doing this and pretend that getting models is a "secret mission".
-write a small speech to tell people before hand with some element of silliness in it, and become an expert at saying this speech. then make your spiel like an act, as though you were an actor speaking lines in a play. become an expert at these lines.
-have some small and silly gift to give people as a 'thank you' for being a model for you. for example, you could give them star stickers or buttons which say "I'm a model" on them. or something of the like. ("hey, do you want this button? all you have to do is pose for a few pictures for me! it's for a good cause!")
-guess people's ages before you ask them. write your guess in a notebook. then ask them to do the posing for you and when all is done, ask them what their actual age is ("one more thing: how old are you?"). keep record of your accuracy score.
Just go straight up and ask people. It'll be alright. People really enjoy these sorts of things. Especially people who desire to be models and so on. I know if you asked me in real life, I'd say yes. Don't worry, you'll find people and it won't take much.
Besides, it's for a class too. So they'll understand.
Besides, it's for a class too. So they'll understand.
one day I just woke up and stopped being so anti-social and shy. just walk up to strangers and ask. I mean, you talk to total strangers online, there's not any difference. just take caution with talking and have fun with it, or, in your case, ask questions that are important to you and whatever they might be.
Firstly, don't approach them straight off and ask for them to pose for you. That's what Modelling services websites are for. I dunno. Just start with chatting about random stuff. Maybe a movie that came out over the weekend.
If you aren't comfortable starting, maybe you can just add in when a group of them nearby are talking about stuff. Like, "Hey, I saw that movie too. It was cool. The character... bla bla bla."
Other than that, well, I'm not too sure. Meeting new friends always does take a certain degree of shamelessness. But it does pay off, so don't be shy to go for it!
If you aren't comfortable starting, maybe you can just add in when a group of them nearby are talking about stuff. Like, "Hey, I saw that movie too. It was cool. The character... bla bla bla."
Other than that, well, I'm not too sure. Meeting new friends always does take a certain degree of shamelessness. But it does pay off, so don't be shy to go for it!
I have problems with this too. Be friendly and confident on the outside, even if you want to scream and run on the inside. Ask them about what they like to do, where they're from, if they have hobbies, play sports, what's their job, or even ask random questions like "would you rather be in New York or Paris right now?", just try to make them laugh. Don't forget to ask their name. I do that a lot. Hope this helps! 
Ask them questions. People love talking about themselves.
Follow some acting classes.
They get scared sometimes too, we all feel awkward. Remember that.
Does it have to be strangers for models?
I remember having to ask people to complete a survey for me. Granted, I don't suffer from social anxiety, but I did feel really awkward about it. Basically what I did is go to places where there would be a lot of people (ideally with a lot of people who weren't terribly busy). I would scan for people I haven't asked yet who looked fairly approachable/were the kind of people I was looking for. Then I would go up to them and ask if they had a moment to fill out my survey. A lot of them were pretty sympathetic, having to do the same thing in the past.
Obviously it won't be as easy with taking a photograph, but you can try and use a similar strategy at least.
I remember having to ask people to complete a survey for me. Granted, I don't suffer from social anxiety, but I did feel really awkward about it. Basically what I did is go to places where there would be a lot of people (ideally with a lot of people who weren't terribly busy). I would scan for people I haven't asked yet who looked fairly approachable/were the kind of people I was looking for. Then I would go up to them and ask if they had a moment to fill out my survey. A lot of them were pretty sympathetic, having to do the same thing in the past.
Obviously it won't be as easy with taking a photograph, but you can try and use a similar strategy at least.
Well there are tons of different approaches you could use. Part of it revolves around where you think your strengths are. If you think that you might just dig yourself a hole the more you talk, than I'd be more blunt. Kinda Like what thisismyboat said in line 1. But I'd say you'd be more successful if you could at least try to get to know them a little bit before "popping the question." Even a minute of light conversation would most likely be very beneficial. Just be friendly, sincere, and listen to what the other person has to say. Be Genuine. You've got this!
"Hey, I'm in xyz class and I need some models for my photography, would you be willing to do it?"
You could butter it up too by saying something along the lines of you think they look cool/pretty. Remember that most people are going to be flattered that you asked, and anyone who says "no" is probably one of those people who wouldn't let you take a picture if you paid them. Pretty much everyone's been in that situation where they've had to ask people to pose for pictures or interview on camera for a class, so most people will be alright with it.
You could butter it up too by saying something along the lines of you think they look cool/pretty. Remember that most people are going to be flattered that you asked, and anyone who says "no" is probably one of those people who wouldn't let you take a picture if you paid them. Pretty much everyone's been in that situation where they've had to ask people to pose for pictures or interview on camera for a class, so most people will be alright with it.
I second this! People like compliments.