What makes you think you need to change in order to be more comfortable with yourself. I think the root of your problem is your inability to accept who you are and the fact that maybe you're just not an extroverted person like most people.
I'll be honest. You sound like a perfectly intelligent person, which makes me wonder if this is a troll post, because I have a hard time believing that an intelligent person would even think like this. To me, your awkwardness and reserved nature would come off as charming. If you were an "exciting" playboy type of person, I would want nothing to do with you. Same with the flirting. Nothing irritates me more than someone who acts like that. The most interesting people in my life are the shy ones, because when you can get them to open up, they are actually the most fun and comfortable to be around. Most of my boyfriend's friends are loud and social, and I would much rather be around my two close friends who are quiet and dorky.
I've come to regard it as a general rule that people who do stupid, obnoxious things and talk about getting high all the time aren't the kind of people you could ever rely on. They're only your friends while you're being stupid like them. Most of my little brother's friends are those kind of people, and he may as well not have any friends at all. Not one of them truly cares about him. I'd rather be lonely than be surrounded by a bunch of fakes.
If you don't like making art, don't make art. It's as simple as that. Find something you do like that comes naturally to you. People aren't drawn to great artists, they are drawn to people who are comfortable in their own shell and who have found their talents rather than forced them.
I'll be honest. You sound like a perfectly intelligent person, which makes me wonder if this is a troll post, because I have a hard time believing that an intelligent person would even think like this. To me, your awkwardness and reserved nature would come off as charming. If you were an "exciting" playboy type of person, I would want nothing to do with you. Same with the flirting. Nothing irritates me more than someone who acts like that. The most interesting people in my life are the shy ones, because when you can get them to open up, they are actually the most fun and comfortable to be around. Most of my boyfriend's friends are loud and social, and I would much rather be around my two close friends who are quiet and dorky.
I've come to regard it as a general rule that people who do stupid, obnoxious things and talk about getting high all the time aren't the kind of people you could ever rely on. They're only your friends while you're being stupid like them. Most of my little brother's friends are those kind of people, and he may as well not have any friends at all. Not one of them truly cares about him. I'd rather be lonely than be surrounded by a bunch of fakes.
If you don't like making art, don't make art. It's as simple as that. Find something you do like that comes naturally to you. People aren't drawn to great artists, they are drawn to people who are comfortable in their own shell and who have found their talents rather than forced them.
I try and be calm about It and just try to accept who I am but I just cant do It. Not when I have panic attacks almost every time I go to a place with lots of people or when im just alone.
And people do call me sweet and cute and stuff like that but Its always just older people who know nothing about me. I appreciate your comments and In a different country (like England) your advice would definitely work where I am right now being myself has gotten me nowhere and thats not looking to change anytime soon.
And people do call me sweet and cute and stuff like that but Its always just older people who know nothing about me. I appreciate your comments and In a different country (like England) your advice would definitely work where I am right now being myself has gotten me nowhere and thats not looking to change anytime soon.
I'm sad for you, in that case. No one should feel like they have to change the core of their being just to fit in in the world -- not when they are already a decent person who has nothing wrong with them.
I still freak out a little when I'm around a lot of people, but I'm better now than I was. At one point in my life, I couldn't bring myself to walk to the end of my driveway and get the mail alone. I don't think I had any real reason, I was just afraid of everything and miserable all the time.
The thing that changed that for me was finding a couple of people who like me for who I am (and yes, that is possible, regardless of where you live), and encourage me to be the best I can be. They didn't try to change me, but I changed for the better because I was around people who loved me. I'm still my same shy, reserved self, but I have finally figured out how to be comfortable with that now. Because of that, I'm in a happy relationship, I have a couple of trusted friends, and I finally managed to learn how to drive -- something that terrified me before.
You'd be amazed at how many positive things happen if you just learn to change the way you perceive yourself, and stop caring about the way others perceive you.
I still freak out a little when I'm around a lot of people, but I'm better now than I was. At one point in my life, I couldn't bring myself to walk to the end of my driveway and get the mail alone. I don't think I had any real reason, I was just afraid of everything and miserable all the time.
The thing that changed that for me was finding a couple of people who like me for who I am (and yes, that is possible, regardless of where you live), and encourage me to be the best I can be. They didn't try to change me, but I changed for the better because I was around people who loved me. I'm still my same shy, reserved self, but I have finally figured out how to be comfortable with that now. Because of that, I'm in a happy relationship, I have a couple of trusted friends, and I finally managed to learn how to drive -- something that terrified me before.
You'd be amazed at how many positive things happen if you just learn to change the way you perceive yourself, and stop caring about the way others perceive you.
There was a time when I had lots of friends just being who I am, that was back in school when I lived in England. The people there are amazing and very understanding so It was easy. In south africa you have to change or die of depression.
I didnt even think about the perceiving thing you mentioned. Ive been so focused just on improving my image in life like aiming for a high paying job, wearing expensive clothes, becoming the best artist in my country...all just so people can like me. I think the only thing I can do is like you said, just try harder to find people who accept me and my socail awkwardness.
I didnt even think about the perceiving thing you mentioned. Ive been so focused just on improving my image in life like aiming for a high paying job, wearing expensive clothes, becoming the best artist in my country...all just so people can like me. I think the only thing I can do is like you said, just try harder to find people who accept me and my socail awkwardness.
People who accept you for who you are are the only ones worth the effort. A high paying job, expensive clothing... none of that means anything in the long run. Right now, I'm still looking for a job. I wear cheap Walmart clothing. I don't have enough money in the bank right now to fill up the gas tank in my old, beat up '94 car. And I'm still happy.
Money and status won't make you happy. You would still be uncomfortable and miserable because you'd be struggling constantly to be something you aren't, and depressed because you can't be honest with anyone in your life. Making quality friendships and relationships isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it if you ever want to feel truly good about yourself. Knowing someone loves you because of who you are is the best feeling in the world, and it lasts a lot longer than a pair of expensive shoes.
There are people everywhere who feel the way you do. You just have to look harder to find them because they're probably just as afraid to be themselves as you are. It is a great comfort to have someone who understands what you're feeling and to be there for someone when they are going through the same troubles you've been through.
Money and status won't make you happy. You would still be uncomfortable and miserable because you'd be struggling constantly to be something you aren't, and depressed because you can't be honest with anyone in your life. Making quality friendships and relationships isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it if you ever want to feel truly good about yourself. Knowing someone loves you because of who you are is the best feeling in the world, and it lasts a lot longer than a pair of expensive shoes.
There are people everywhere who feel the way you do. You just have to look harder to find them because they're probably just as afraid to be themselves as you are. It is a great comfort to have someone who understands what you're feeling and to be there for someone when they are going through the same troubles you've been through.