I was simply angry; if I could 100% explain my actions when I'm angry, then that would not even be anger anymore... it would be planned evilness - and I don't think I reach those levels nor I want to reach them. I was just depressed and desperate, this is it, but luckily things seem to go a bit better now, and I am happy about it ^_^ Still far from going "well", but since they go better it's still something to be pleased about ^^
And anyway... well, it looks like you don't really sneak often into my favourites if you noticed it only now, huh?