welcome to dA!

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You were right about the stars: each one is a setting sun.

hey dude U smell like polenta! stinky polenta boy

thnx,

Welcome to dA, and I must say... You're a good writer. I'd probably fix some of the things in your lyrics, but you're good. Hope you don't mind me saying so.
Anyway, keep on trying and you'll reach your peak.

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If I am to die, let it be like this...
You in my arms, bound together by life's cold grip...

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~DemonsmeetsAngels I know you want to join.

hehe, tell me what i need to change, i need opinions x, ignore the first song tho, tis crappy hehe

Hehe. Well, the second song, which was the one I completed reading, is rather good, but somehow I think it's to heavy... Maybe it'll sound better with a tune and all, but as something one reads, there's too little rythm in it... No offence. But it is rather good.

--
If I am to die, let it be like this...
You in my arms, bound together by life's cold grip...

***
~DemonsmeetsAngels I know you want to join.

hehe, i tried to make it rhyme more but cos it was meant as a song i figured too much ryhme would make it too fast. but then i dunno, im crap with actually writing thigns that work as songs

Hehe. No, you're not. You just need some practice. Hey, no one's perfect! You have a lot to go on, so you should just try to find that style and the thing that drives you. What makes me write good (or at least better than the ones I used to write) poems, is the thought of what I've been through, and the joy my surroundings bring... Though I more or less only write sad and painful poems. *ahem* But, what you should do, is try not to think that it has to ryhme, becuase it doesn't. If you can find a good beat and a good rythm, you're well on your way.

--
If I am to die, let it be like this...
You in my arms, bound together by life's cold grip...

***
~DemonsmeetsAngels I know you want to join.

hehe thank yew , i have altered that song slightly now, but im not gonna put it on da cos i wanna have my own speshal copee lol. i am bit wierd x

No problem. Happy to help. Hehe. Well, why shouldn't you? Hehe. It's your right as the writer. hehe.
Oh, and by the way; happy new year!

--
If I am to die, let it be like this...
You in my arms, bound together by life's cold grip...

***
~DemonsmeetsAngels I know you want to join.