im not making myself sick over this bye
i still want to take you to ihop love you

That would mean also that if you were dating someone else while I was gone, you would also sleep, touch, kiss, go to the movies with, and hold hands with the girl the same way you did me if I decided to move away. Who is the one your former boyfriend is sleeping with? they would say... I'm sorry if I'm not so comfortable with you being comfortable with the idea of being with someone else after me moving. I'm not okay with being used like that. You can't handle a long distance relationship? That gives me the idea that you cannot handle me. I really love you, but I don't think you know what love is, because love is about going the distance even if that distance is far. Maybe it was a bad idea. But what the hell, we can have fun, I guess, but fun might not go too far. We'll see. We're just kids, and if you see someone else you'd rather date, please tell me right away so we can call it quits.

And about the ed business.. That has nothing to do with what you're talking about about Heidi. I admired ed , because he was an admirable guy(this is him [link])for a long time. That's true. Kind of an obsession. I was heartbroken all summer my sophmore year, because he had fallen for his best friend Kaycee. I won't deny that. But then I got the courage to talk to rob, the very day i met you! and it's true i didn't think you and my friendship was going to even exceed to more than two days worth.. but then i did fall in love with you VERY soon, but i would not admit it... But now I have admitted it, and yet I find more doubt in you, and it's breaking my heart.

I'm sorry I didn't reply all that sooner, but I wanted to summarize it all into one comment, I was pretty steamed, and summarizing can be pretty hard for me to do.

And I did avoid you, but you don't know the kind of loss I had with my first REAL love, the person who turned me into the cynical person I am. I saw a likeness of him in you and it scared me. In fact, before I met you, there were two more infatuations I had to get over. I was just trying to find the right guy. And by the time I had asked that boy to prom, I had pretty much darn decided to stop looking at boys altogether, and so I decided to push you and everyone else out of my life (including leah) just so I could forget about ever falling in love again. But I got over avoiding you, I got over the heartbreak of little boys who didn't love me, and I've been asking for your forgiveness for avoiding you ever since. But you won't forgive me, and you won't get over the iidea of your doubt, and perhaps it is your doubt that will win in the end.

No, no, no! Dammit, you're confused! Let me lay it out. 1. eric was the first 2. eddie was the second guy (sophmore year) 3. rob was the third guy (junior year)

And then I bloody admitted i liked you!


jesus..

none of them are better than you..

I am sorry if I am distant. but sometimes you seem disinterested too and then you are opposite, so that's what causes me to be distant.

I didn't choose him over you!

your getting the sequence of events wrong!

i met you a year after i met him.. i haven't talked to him in like 2 years

the boy, rob, is who i asked to prom, but i didn't prefer him over you.. i just didn't wanna fall for my best friend, but i did. and i am glad i did..but now you've got me worried

You wrote:

"you asked him out after you meet me"

I had completely broken ties with ed with him by then. jesus .. but i did ask out rob, but i didnt wanna fall for my best friend again cus that can be awkward and cause problems.. you could lose your best friend that way...and i'm afraid of losing you now.

I'm tired of arguing about this.

[link]

Good song.