Eurika, I've got it! Dress him up as a flapjack.
Jack: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
*in random NY accent* Whaaat, did the perfectly golden brown uber-delicious fluffy epitome of Breakfast go outta style and nobody tell me! Just think- you could watch everyone fight over who gets to dress up as maple syrup 
Oh jeeze.
*line of fangirls in syrup costumes*
*line of fangirls in syrup costumes*
And don't even get 'em started on who gets to be butter. 
*accidentally imagines Jack shirtless and smothered with butter*
Jack: why do I feel so slippery?
Jack: why do I feel so slippery?
Haha oh dear! Well, there's another, er, costume option...?
To Jack: You feel slippery? Are you sure? ...Do you need me to verify that?
To Jack: You feel slippery? Are you sure? ...Do you need me to verify that?
AHHHHHHH! *slaps your hand*
Jack: No, seriously. It's like I'm covered in butter. And have you seen my shirt?
Me: Just... just... get out of here, will ya???
Jack: No, seriously. It's like I'm covered in butter. And have you seen my shirt?
Me: Just... just... get out of here, will ya???
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