about indifference, yes, I agree, it's awful. And about this, I could call indifference Dumbledore's and Snape's silence too towards Harry about the propehcy until 5th book: if Harry had known the matter of the prophecy would practise Occlumency better and wouldn't fall in Voldemort's trap.
Anyway the prophecy could well have both Harry and Neville as a matter, and the two boys were never informed before Sirius' death, what would you do if a friends wouldn't tell you a dangerous thing that could be concern of you?
I agree about Snape not thinking about the cruelty and consequences of his actions until Lily was in danger. I don't know if this was for James too (maybe hating a person because he/she's a bully it's a matter, wanting him/her dead is another one)
I still don't know if Snape's partiality as a teacher was a consequence of his past (bullied, so he gets revenge being a "bully" or tolerating bullying for Slytherins? actually Malfoy and other ones bully non-Slyterin students, but in a hidden, not when Snape or other teachers can see and punish them) or of hating James (for having mistreated Sanpe? for having married Lily?). Is this that "give two shits mean"? "punish/accuse someone for another one's bad behaviour"? surely Snape tells Hary a lot that the boy's arrogant because of his fame, but this is a prejudice that Harry never managed to destroy
I sometimes thought that Snape's partiality as a teacher (towards Harry too) was a fake, not to make the Death Eaters and their children think he had abandoned Voldemort and worked for Dumbledore now