Thank you for the feedback! 
I worked really hard to try and make it seem as real as possible. I want my story, although it might be mythology, to loose that distance it usually has with the readers. I wanted to get to the soul or essence of these characters.
I have so much character developing to do before I can even introduce Persephone to Hades. o.0 And then there is the mom....and the politics of the underworld. The next bit is quite detailed and requires a lot of knowledge of the underworld. That's what I've been filling my days lately, trying to get a feel for the underworld and how Persephone fits in it and the ways in which she disrupts it. Fun, but a bit messy. =]
And I found this highly encouraging!
I worked really hard to try and make it seem as real as possible. I want my story, although it might be mythology, to loose that distance it usually has with the readers. I wanted to get to the soul or essence of these characters.
I have so much character developing to do before I can even introduce Persephone to Hades. o.0 And then there is the mom....and the politics of the underworld. The next bit is quite detailed and requires a lot of knowledge of the underworld. That's what I've been filling my days lately, trying to get a feel for the underworld and how Persephone fits in it and the ways in which she disrupts it. Fun, but a bit messy. =]
And I found this highly encouraging!
Yay I'm glad it was encouraging!
I like all the ideas you're trying to incorporate, but especially the soul essence of the characters is usually what makes fantasy writing good. Adding all the layers of political and issues are great touches too because it connects readers to this world by using similar ties from ours. Yes Persephone would disrupt the flow of the Underworld, considering everything she touches come to life
I wonder how Persephone would deal with being captive. She seems a sweet girl (not in a Mary Sue way) but has a desire for freedom. I can't see her taking being stuck in a place against her will again lying down. Maybe passive aggressive in her escape attempts? Pure speculation on my part, but I can see you've got a lot of possibilities for her react.
Keep up to work!
(Research is sometimes the hardest when the time comes to write down) I'll be checking to see when the next chapter comes up! 
I like all the ideas you're trying to incorporate, but especially the soul essence of the characters is usually what makes fantasy writing good. Adding all the layers of political and issues are great touches too because it connects readers to this world by using similar ties from ours. Yes Persephone would disrupt the flow of the Underworld, considering everything she touches come to life
I wonder how Persephone would deal with being captive. She seems a sweet girl (not in a Mary Sue way) but has a desire for freedom. I can't see her taking being stuck in a place against her will again lying down. Maybe passive aggressive in her escape attempts? Pure speculation on my part, but I can see you've got a lot of possibilities for her react. Keep up to work!
(Research is sometimes the hardest when the time comes to write down) I'll be checking to see when the next chapter comes up! lol. I know! I haven't quite yet nailed how I want her to react to Hades, but I haven't decided how Hades will react to her. I think once I pin down the hierarchy of the Underworld and the ways Hades presents it to her will affect her reaction. Because he is going to put it's best foot forward, but at some point she will discover the nastiness with in it--the ancient greeks had a rather depressing view of the after life.
I don't know when the next chapter will be. =/ I'm waiting to be paired with a beta-reader. I really want this story to have a bit more polish to it than my other stuff. I think I could actually get a publisher to want to publish this. I just want my very best foot forward, and it is hard to edit things on your own.
I don't know when the next chapter will be. =/ I'm waiting to be paired with a beta-reader. I really want this story to have a bit more polish to it than my other stuff. I think I could actually get a publisher to want to publish this. I just want my very best foot forward, and it is hard to edit things on your own.
lol he's trying to convince her it's a happy place to rule? Oh boy that would be interesting! You're totally right, their view of the after life was pretty depressing. I remember reading the Odyssey and finding that whole part where they talk to those in the underworld sad.
I completely understand, I suck at proof-reading my own papers so school. I usually have to walk away from it for at least a couple hours before I can catch any mistakes. Stories are trickier because of all the plot lines intersecting, and since you want this to be polished then it'll take some time. But honestly that's ok, it's better to make sure your story is what you want it to be instead of just hacking out something and posting it. Since you're putting so much effort into making it good chances are high for its success I hesitate on showing anyone my raw writings, maybe only my closest friends who can offer writing advice. You're definitely on the right track though, as a fellow writer I wish you luck! I'm trying to polish a piece of mine before I'd ever let anyone read it and it's real slow going 
I completely understand, I suck at proof-reading my own papers so school. I usually have to walk away from it for at least a couple hours before I can catch any mistakes. Stories are trickier because of all the plot lines intersecting, and since you want this to be polished then it'll take some time. But honestly that's ok, it's better to make sure your story is what you want it to be instead of just hacking out something and posting it. Since you're putting so much effort into making it good chances are high for its success
I hesitate on showing anyone my raw writings, maybe only my closest friends who can offer writing advice. You're definitely on the right track though, as a fellow writer I wish you luck! I'm trying to polish a piece of mine before I'd ever let anyone read it and it's real slow going Lol. At the very least, he'll conceal the worst features of the underworld. I think, considering his history, he would rather her eventually come around so that someone would choose him, instead of forcing her. However, he is more than willing to force her if she doesn't choose him.
I totally understand the not showing anyone their raw writings. It is so scary. More than terrifying. There it is, ink and paper, your inner most thoughts, desires, hopes, wishes and fears. SHARING THEM? It's absolutely crazy. But, Idk. I've gotten better at it. My writing classes have helped me overcome that fear. First it started with very impersonal stuff, then to slightly personal stuff, and now I am less afraid to share. I've had a really good writing professor. She has, more or less, forced me to write about personal experiences and it really has helped.
Then I started posting this stuff onto dA and started a fan fic. It's still scary, but I've mostly received positive feedback. And the negative feedback I've gotten, mostly has to do with taste issues. I definitely check my page every two seconds when I post something new, desperate for any feedback--negative or positive.
The super nice thing about dA is that by posting it on dA it is immediately copyrighted. It's evidence, in case anyone tries to steal your stuff. However, the downside to posting stories that have the potential to be posted means that by letting people read it they might not want to buy it because they've read it. BUT it builds a fan base.
I totally understand the not showing anyone their raw writings. It is so scary. More than terrifying. There it is, ink and paper, your inner most thoughts, desires, hopes, wishes and fears. SHARING THEM? It's absolutely crazy. But, Idk. I've gotten better at it. My writing classes have helped me overcome that fear. First it started with very impersonal stuff, then to slightly personal stuff, and now I am less afraid to share. I've had a really good writing professor. She has, more or less, forced me to write about personal experiences and it really has helped. Then I started posting this stuff onto dA and started a fan fic. It's still scary, but I've mostly received positive feedback. And the negative feedback I've gotten, mostly has to do with taste issues. I definitely check my page every two seconds when I post something new, desperate for any feedback--negative or positive.
The super nice thing about dA is that by posting it on dA it is immediately copyrighted. It's evidence, in case anyone tries to steal your stuff. However, the downside to posting stories that have the potential to be posted means that by letting people read it they might not want to buy it because they've read it. BUT it builds a fan base.
Totally hit the nail on the head, it is very much like baring your soul in some respects. But maybe I should put my work out there. At least some projects I can practice with just to see if people actually enjoy my writing and what ways I can improve
There are subjects that I still shy away from, and I have often considered that if and when I publish that I would opt for a pen name, just so that I can maintain my personal identity and still write about my personal experiences.
The other issue with writers, is often we exploit those whom we love for the service and function of our stories. Not that we intend to exploit them, but we write about what we know--which includes the people that we love. Lol. Essentially, more reason to remain anonymous.
Lol. I would be at risk of turning into a JD Salinger. Write a book, get some attention, retreat into obscurity. I hate attention.
dA in many ways can service anonymity in these respects. Besides, it's ultimately way less scary to share your story with strangers who do not possess the ability to actively or properly judge you. All they can do is judge the story. Sharing your story with family and friends, gives them the ability to potentially judge you in very negative capacities. Not only that, but usually they are willing and ready to be offended.
I have written a story about some of my family members, in which I am absolutely not allowed to share with them--as dictated by my mother and my granny. Because if they were to ever read those things, the family would undergo a great schism--drama would ensue, even though the story was less a commentary on their lives and more a story that depicted their lives.
In a very long winded response, you should put your work out there. =]
The other issue with writers, is often we exploit those whom we love for the service and function of our stories. Not that we intend to exploit them, but we write about what we know--which includes the people that we love. Lol. Essentially, more reason to remain anonymous.
Lol. I would be at risk of turning into a JD Salinger. Write a book, get some attention, retreat into obscurity. I hate attention.
dA in many ways can service anonymity in these respects. Besides, it's ultimately way less scary to share your story with strangers who do not possess the ability to actively or properly judge you. All they can do is judge the story. Sharing your story with family and friends, gives them the ability to potentially judge you in very negative capacities. Not only that, but usually they are willing and ready to be offended.
I have written a story about some of my family members, in which I am absolutely not allowed to share with them--as dictated by my mother and my granny. Because if they were to ever read those things, the family would undergo a great schism--drama would ensue, even though the story was less a commentary on their lives and more a story that depicted their lives.
In a very long winded response, you should put your work out there. =]
You're right, which is mainly why I tend to shy away from using family and friends as examples but mainly inspiration. That's ok the response was long! It was extremely helpful 
I think I will put stuff out there, just not sure which to put out there now lol.
I think I will put stuff out there, just not sure which to put out there now lol.View all replies