Comment on One Who Masters Magic: Prologue by Trivas
As I stated before, I like how vivid and well described this scene is. That has not changed.
“With a small chuckle—the first emotion the man had displayed during the entire massacre—he…” The flow of this snippet is not as great as the rest. I think it could stand to be rewritten.
I have read on since you asked(Or since I knew you asked) for real feedback and I honestly wish I could hear more about the capitan. I think it is just my curiosity about his fate, but he is a character I hope to hear more about in the future.
I hope I was helpful.
“With a small chuckle—the first emotion the man had displayed during the entire massacre—he…” The flow of this snippet is not as great as the rest. I think it could stand to be rewritten.
I have read on since you asked(Or since I knew you asked) for real feedback and I honestly wish I could hear more about the capitan. I think it is just my curiosity about his fate, but he is a character I hope to hear more about in the future.
I hope I was helpful.
I will ponder and examine that section you pointed out. It could end up being altered and enhanced, if not in now, in the third draft.
As for Captain Wasitpan, I am not finished with him. It may be as simple as a reference to his fate in the novels themselves or I may create another Prologue with him in it. I could even include him in one of the several short stories I hope to write. Either way, I have decided from the start that he will be visited again.
As for Captain Wasitpan, I am not finished with him. It may be as simple as a reference to his fate in the novels themselves or I may create another Prologue with him in it. I could even include him in one of the several short stories I hope to write. Either way, I have decided from the start that he will be visited again.
Well I am glad, and I would be thrilled if you wrote some short stories. While I cannot write them worth a lick I do enjoy reading them.
I have a great number of things I need to get sorted out about that time period. Once I do, I will see about writing a short story about it. I may even do it from the captain's perspective.
That would be interesting. One thing that some authors do that has always irritated me is when they introduce a character like him and hint at his fate or that he plays a big part and then just forgets about them.
I hate that, too. I also like when characters who made a small appearance in one novel come back in later ones for reprisal roles, even if they are small. It gives a sense of continuity and connectiveness.
Yeah, I read one author who did that a lot. Then they got into the habbit of killing off my favorite characters and I had to stop reading. lol
This author wouldn't happen to have the initials of GRRM, would they? Because if so, then I totally agree with you (though I did keep reading).
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