Comment on Quick Comments by ProjectComment

hmmm well I do get a childish feel at the end and you did that part very well having her splash water, but the other one seems more serious. 

As for the beginning usually children are more obvious, so unless you are explaining the area, situation or event, don't use such big words, or be too descriptive (but be careful not to make it boring either by repeating words or using boring ones like okay, sure, maybe too much. Hope that was some help.