Comment on portrait of rosalie by ignotism

Hi! I'm critiquing your piece for Critmas!

First, this is a very well written piece.  The flow for the most part is very good, the imagery is perfect and I think it captures the feeling and general hopelessness very well. I really like the imagery associated with the grandmother's memories. There is a warmth and color associated with her memories that isn't involved with the rest of the poem. I also love the paragraph about trauma being passed through the generations. That paragraph has a great ring and flow and the imagery is beautiful. I also love the use of French because it creates this feeling of miscommunication between the reader and the poem. It creates that barrier in a great way so the reader understands how hard it is to talk to the grandmother.

Honestly I thought it was a great poem. I only stumbled a few times because the rhythm seemed broken to me. The first time that happened was with the following part:

alzheimer's is a language.
like french, it is
just another part of her.

That period between 'language' and 'like' creates a sudden halt to the flow that kind of disrupts the reader.

The second time the rhythm was broken was with the following part:

my grandmother's
alzheimer's
is a neologist,
changes the way

There's something missing between neologist and changes I think. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but that's where the break occurs for me.

But, really, overall it's a very well written piece. Great job! ^_^