Comment on IHurtEveryone by Shelia455
It's one thing I need to do like I said, I need to also apologize to my parent's because of the way I am. I'll truly disappoint my parent's and some people I used to know soon and i'll hurt myself in the process. I have learned from my mistakes and I still am learning and regretting thing's I've said and done.
You should never need to apologise for the way you are. If it's something you can't help, others need to learn to accept it. If you are aware and regretting what you've done than you are on the right path. It sounds to me like you might need to forgive yourself before you can receive forgiveness from others. The way you go about doing that is up to you. If there's anything I can help with, please let me know.
It's mainly my parent's who I need to apologize to because I couldn't be the person they wanted and they expected so much of me and I let them down. I have been asking for forgiveness from people since 2016 and like I said I've only gotten forgiveness from one person and they're talking to me again but I still don't feel like they have full forgiven me yet but it's their choice if they want to forgive me.
I can't forgive myself, I don't think I ever can. Also thank you.
I can't forgive myself, I don't think I ever can. Also thank you.
I wish I could offer more advice, but I honestly don't know enough about the situation to do that. I, personally, live up to my own expectations and no one else's, because if I tried to live up to their's I'd never make it.
That was kinda confusing... Here's an example:
My friends always wanted me to be an outgoing, funny person. (I'm sure many highschoolers can relate) For almost an entire year, I tried to live up to their expectations. Of course, I wasn't able to (because I have social anxiety). I completely beat myself up over it. So much self-hate eventually lead to depression... which lead to me shutting everyone out. Just a few months ago, a really nice guy 'adopted' me to be his friend and my life turned around. Now, I've set goals for myself (like give at least one put-up to myself or a stranger every day) and I've slowly been getting better.
Sorry, that was a lot longer than it should've been.
What I'm trying to say is,
If you can't forgive yourself, then please try to keep going. Leave that old you behind and build somebody who you can be proud of, somebody who others can look up to. If what you did was truly that bad, than the future can't possibly get worse.
And I'm really sorry that I'm not a professional at this kind of stuff. I really wish I could help you more than I am. All I can do is offer my personal opinions.
That was kinda confusing... Here's an example:
My friends always wanted me to be an outgoing, funny person. (I'm sure many highschoolers can relate) For almost an entire year, I tried to live up to their expectations. Of course, I wasn't able to (because I have social anxiety). I completely beat myself up over it. So much self-hate eventually lead to depression... which lead to me shutting everyone out. Just a few months ago, a really nice guy 'adopted' me to be his friend and my life turned around. Now, I've set goals for myself (like give at least one put-up to myself or a stranger every day) and I've slowly been getting better.
Sorry, that was a lot longer than it should've been.
What I'm trying to say is,
If you can't forgive yourself, then please try to keep going. Leave that old you behind and build somebody who you can be proud of, somebody who others can look up to. If what you did was truly that bad, than the future can't possibly get worse.
And I'm really sorry that I'm not a professional at this kind of stuff. I really wish I could help you more than I am. All I can do is offer my personal opinions.
If I knew you I would explain what is going on but I don't want to waste your time because I've wasted a lot of people's time and effort.
I have social anxiety too and I'm on medication for depression and for my anxiety but after taking it for almost five year's now it doesn't really help anymore, I don't try to make friend's anymore since they all leave when I need them the most but like I said I mostly push people away so I can't really blame anyone but myself for them leaving. The only thing that is kinda helping me right now is my career and music but I doubt i'll make it to be somebody but I guess I could just try and see how thing's turn out.
Both of my parent's have called me worthless and useless in the past so I don't really know if it's me or them who should apologize. I feel like I'm waiting for something and I don't really know what.
Btw it's okay,
I have social anxiety too and I'm on medication for depression and for my anxiety but after taking it for almost five year's now it doesn't really help anymore, I don't try to make friend's anymore since they all leave when I need them the most but like I said I mostly push people away so I can't really blame anyone but myself for them leaving. The only thing that is kinda helping me right now is my career and music but I doubt i'll make it to be somebody but I guess I could just try and see how thing's turn out.
Both of my parent's have called me worthless and useless in the past so I don't really know if it's me or them who should apologize. I feel like I'm waiting for something and I don't really know what.
Btw it's okay,
If it would make you feel better to share it, then please do. But don't do anything you're uncomfortable with.
That's really cool! You do music? Vocals, instruments or both?
If they left you when you pushed them away then they weren't true friends. (at least from my experience) Any true friend feels physical pain when they see another friend in need. I know I do. I'd stop at nothing to help them if one of my friends was hurting. This may, however, only pertain to my situation.
I can say now with 100% certainty, a parent under no circumstance should call their child "worthless" or "useless". It sounds to me like you've grown up in (at least) a mildly abusive situation. I don't want to jump to conclusions though, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Whatever you do, don't take it to heart. Everyone, no matter what sexuality, gender, race, or religion is priceless.
About depression and anxiety, here are a few things that might ease your suffering. I know how hard it can be.
1. Try doing a power pose for 2 min every day in front of the mirror. This boosts self-confidence and just makes you feel a lot better about yourself in general.
2. If you love animals, try to be around them as much as possible. Seriously, those things are instant-stress relievers.
3. Try to do things that keep your head out of the past. For me, this includes art and talking to my friend, but for you it sounds like it could be music. <3
Of course, these are just some tips that helped me through my dark days, they unfortunately won't work on everybody.
It's alright to be unsure for now. The fact that you're aware of what you're doing tells me that deep down, you're an amazing person no matter what you may think. A person who truly doesn't deserve forgiveness wouldn't care what they've done wrong and they definitely wouldn't try to fix it.
That's really cool! You do music? Vocals, instruments or both?
If they left you when you pushed them away then they weren't true friends. (at least from my experience) Any true friend feels physical pain when they see another friend in need. I know I do. I'd stop at nothing to help them if one of my friends was hurting. This may, however, only pertain to my situation.
I can say now with 100% certainty, a parent under no circumstance should call their child "worthless" or "useless". It sounds to me like you've grown up in (at least) a mildly abusive situation. I don't want to jump to conclusions though, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Whatever you do, don't take it to heart. Everyone, no matter what sexuality, gender, race, or religion is priceless.
About depression and anxiety, here are a few things that might ease your suffering. I know how hard it can be.
1. Try doing a power pose for 2 min every day in front of the mirror. This boosts self-confidence and just makes you feel a lot better about yourself in general.
2. If you love animals, try to be around them as much as possible. Seriously, those things are instant-stress relievers.
3. Try to do things that keep your head out of the past. For me, this includes art and talking to my friend, but for you it sounds like it could be music. <3
Of course, these are just some tips that helped me through my dark days, they unfortunately won't work on everybody.
It's alright to be unsure for now. The fact that you're aware of what you're doing tells me that deep down, you're an amazing person no matter what you may think. A person who truly doesn't deserve forgiveness wouldn't care what they've done wrong and they definitely wouldn't try to fix it.
If it's okay I would have to note you on here and tell you about it because I just don't feel comfortable letting other people know because I fear that they'll judge me and put me down like most people do.
I do vocals but right now I'm learning guitar, I'm trying to make an album but with limited resources and hardly anyone to produce my music it's hard and plus I'm afraid of the negativity I will receive when I release something.
That's true also. If they were really my friend they would have stayed with me no matter what but I guess nobody wants to deal with someone who has depression and other mental problems, my parent's don't really care about me and i'll explain why sometime later but I don't really see them as my parent's but I love them even if they hate me.
I don't know if it would be abusive but they only thing they've ever done to me is verbally abused me but they've never physically hurt me, it still hurts me though to hear those word's from them and I kinda think it isn't right how they treat my two older sister's and brother better than me but I think I deserve to be treated this way.
Nothing really helps me with stress and I have no real way to relieve stress, well I do but I can't say it. I think the reason why a lot of people don't want to be around me or be nice to me is because I have so many mental problems they probably think I'm insane but If they got to know me they would understand.
I do vocals but right now I'm learning guitar, I'm trying to make an album but with limited resources and hardly anyone to produce my music it's hard and plus I'm afraid of the negativity I will receive when I release something.
That's true also. If they were really my friend they would have stayed with me no matter what but I guess nobody wants to deal with someone who has depression and other mental problems, my parent's don't really care about me and i'll explain why sometime later but I don't really see them as my parent's but I love them even if they hate me.
I don't know if it would be abusive but they only thing they've ever done to me is verbally abused me but they've never physically hurt me, it still hurts me though to hear those word's from them and I kinda think it isn't right how they treat my two older sister's and brother better than me but I think I deserve to be treated this way.
Nothing really helps me with stress and I have no real way to relieve stress, well I do but I can't say it. I think the reason why a lot of people don't want to be around me or be nice to me is because I have so many mental problems they probably think I'm insane but If they got to know me they would understand.
That's completely fine! Please shoot me a note when you have the time.
Oooh I'd love to listen to it when it comes out. I'm sure if you put your heart into it it will. There is not a human being on this earth who isn't afraid of judgement. In fact, you can't escape it! Although, anyone who judges you doesn't deserve the time you spend worrying about their opinion. Just know that most people who judge are really just jealous or ignorant.
That's one thing that I absolutely despise about this world. Some people are just so worried about their self-image that they only hang out with people that will make them "look good." And I guess people like us (who are the ones who need attention the most) just aren't as "cool" as their fake friends. And I'm not insulting you by saying this, because I would much rather hang with you than 99% of the kids at my school. I'm sure if they spent the time to actually get to know you, they'd enjoy your company. People just get so high into the clouds that they forget what earth is really like. You don't have to be "trendy" to be cool or "happy" to be fun. I wish people like this could just feel what we feel for one day.
I'm totally on your side about your parents. Even if they may hate you (I don't know the whole story but I doubt they really hate you) you should still love them. They've still clothed, fed, and housed you. No matter how cruel they may be.
And... they're you're parents!
It sounds like they might pick favorites then? That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. You definitely don't deserve it. Contrary to what most people think, nobody ever deserves that. Just keep pushing through and don't let it get to you.
Oooh I'd love to listen to it when it comes out. I'm sure if you put your heart into it it will. There is not a human being on this earth who isn't afraid of judgement. In fact, you can't escape it! Although, anyone who judges you doesn't deserve the time you spend worrying about their opinion. Just know that most people who judge are really just jealous or ignorant.
That's one thing that I absolutely despise about this world. Some people are just so worried about their self-image that they only hang out with people that will make them "look good." And I guess people like us (who are the ones who need attention the most) just aren't as "cool" as their fake friends. And I'm not insulting you by saying this, because I would much rather hang with you than 99% of the kids at my school. I'm sure if they spent the time to actually get to know you, they'd enjoy your company. People just get so high into the clouds that they forget what earth is really like. You don't have to be "trendy" to be cool or "happy" to be fun. I wish people like this could just feel what we feel for one day.
I'm totally on your side about your parents. Even if they may hate you (I don't know the whole story but I doubt they really hate you) you should still love them. They've still clothed, fed, and housed you. No matter how cruel they may be.
And... they're you're parents!
It sounds like they might pick favorites then? That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. You definitely don't deserve it. Contrary to what most people think, nobody ever deserves that. Just keep pushing through and don't let it get to you.
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