I have to agree on Basia's compliments (and those of the unheard others) about the dialogue - it's quite hard to write good dialogue that reflects the character and moves the story along in ways that are "unspoken"...and you are very good at that. There is a tangible feeling that one is dealing with real characters (all of whom have unspoken feelings hiding behind their acts and so it is perfectly natural for the story to end in a conversation that remains unknown to the reader) and the story flows in a beautiful, unobtrusive way - the complexity of the various unspoken relationships had me puzzled from time to time, but that is a good thing.
I particularly liked how the character's feelings always remained...earthbound...in a way, how tragedy was accepted with calm and how Janina was brought to accept transformations and changes (the train journey is my favourite bit, showing in an almost magical realist way how Janina deals with her feelings).
You definitely are a talented writer - there might be some places where the dialogue could be clipped a bit and a few more descriptions could be added, but that might also be my own preferences obscuring my judgements
I particularly liked how the character's feelings always remained...earthbound...in a way, how tragedy was accepted with calm and how Janina was brought to accept transformations and changes (the train journey is my favourite bit, showing in an almost magical realist way how Janina deals with her feelings).
You definitely are a talented writer - there might be some places where the dialogue could be clipped a bit and a few more descriptions could be added, but that might also be my own preferences obscuring my judgements
Thank you very, very much. I'm really glad you enjoyed the unspoken feelings and relationships... it's what I sort of aimed at with this story, so I'm glad to learn I hit the target.
I'm also glad you liked the train journey part. I enjoyed writing that one.
You might be right about the lack of descriptive parts. On the other hand, I'm afraid my descriptive parts always end up a bit too forced; so I simply let my writing flow as it wanted and then added something to places where it flowed too quickly...
I'm also glad you liked the train journey part. I enjoyed writing that one.
You might be right about the lack of descriptive parts. On the other hand, I'm afraid my descriptive parts always end up a bit too forced; so I simply let my writing flow as it wanted and then added something to places where it flowed too quickly...
To let the writing flow is the best thing and most criticism, I've learned, is rarely more than personal taste - your writing is full of heart and you care about the characters, they come alive and that counts most. I'm fond of description in my writing and (unfortunately 
) of long internalizations, so I strongly notice if those parts are missing.
I'd love to read some more stories in that vein, so if you have any to spare...
) of long internalizations, so I strongly notice if those parts are missing. I'd love to read some more stories in that vein, so if you have any to spare...
I don't have any quite like this... but I have some others... untranslated. I'll see what I can do about it.
I'll watch you so I don't miss anything that might appear...
I'm honored. 
Of course the cup of cocoa played a sizeable role in my decision
Hehe. 