I wouldn't call it trite, based on the definition I just found from google because I know the word, but only from context and sometimes you don't always know exactly what it means so I thought it might be useful to find it out before judging it based on "trite".
If you used the current style you have and painted it with correct/attractive proportions at least, people might think better of your work and someone might even want to suggest it.
Once again, I like some of your mark-making, but the marks all together don't always make something nice.
Or you could even push it further into abstraction.