That has nothing to do with what we were even talking about, unless you believe these are traits that will convince random people to help you right out of the blue. And it's rather presumptuous to say that you are really funny; whether or not you are found funny is a trait defined by others around you.
Regardless, if you're still trying to get me to teach you, I am not an encyclopedia. Google is your friend, I would use Google too if I were all alone wanting to start learning at something.