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"What if Bloom and Diamond had always been good friends, like the Apples and Riches of generations past..."
What-If Machine: *whir* "Accessing..."
Discord, "This is boring."
Praegressus: "Can't things ever just be boring sometimes? Can't everybody be happy?"
Discord: "You're new, but I should hope you understand a little more about the cosmic order than that by now, young lady. Boring stories are stories that don't get told, because nocreature wants to listen. To put it another way, there's essentially a Law of Conversation of ME! Only it's not really a law, because laws are boring. It's more of a strongly worded suggestion. If things aren't going to suck for somebody somewhere for plot purposes, then I at least demand my quota of wacky hijinks!"